What Your Partner Really Needs: Tips for Building a Happier Marriage

Many people come to us asking how they can improve their relationships, especially in marriage and long-term commitments. The answer often lies in understanding and meeting the needs of your partner. While every relationship is unique, a good starting point is to reflect on some foundational needs identified by relationship experts.

W. Harley, in his well-known book His Needs, Her Needs (link to source: His Needs, Her Needs), outlined key emotional and practical needs that commonly arise in relationships. Here’s an overview on how to build a happier marriage and relationship:

A Woman’s Basic Needs

According to Wright, a woman’s most essential needs include:

1. Affection – Express love through words, actions, and physical touch.

2. Conversation – Share meaningful discussions and active listening.

3. Honesty & Openness – Foster trust through transparency and vulnerability.

4. Financial Support – Provide security and stability within the partnership.

5. Family Commitment – Show dedication to shared family goals and values.

   
   

A Man’s Basic Needs

On the other hand, Wright identified the following as common needs for men:

1. Sexual Fulfillment – Prioritize intimacy and physical connection.

2. Recreational Companionship – Spend time enjoying shared activities and hobbies.

3. An Attractive Spouse – Maintain self-care and appearance as a gesture of mutual respect.

4. Domestic Support – Create a comfortable and organized home environment.

5. Admiration – Offer words of appreciation, respect, and encouragement.

   
   

How to Get Started Building a Happier Marriage

Take a moment to reflect: Do you see yourself or your partner in any of these needs? If so, here’s how you can take action today:

• Ask Questions: Open up a dialogue with your partner. Ask, “What’s one thing I can do to help meet this need for you?”

• Take Small Steps: Start by addressing one need at a time. Even small changes can have a big impact.

• Stay Curious: Revisit these conversations regularly. Needs may evolve over time, so consistent communication is key.

  
  

Final Thoughts

Building a happier, healthier relationship begins with understanding and effort. By focusing on meeting your partner’s needs and encouraging them to meet yours, you create a stronger foundation for your relationship.

For more insights, check out Harley’s His Needs, Her Needs or explore other resources for relationship growth.